What Happens When the Strong Get Tired?

Written by Scott Setchel for the RSDSA blog.

What happens when the strong get tired?

What happens when we don’t want to fight anymore?

Is this what I am reduced to?

Once I was full of life

Once I was full of joy

Once I was full of laughter

I endured cancer, not once, but twice

I could dance

I could skate

I entertained hundreds and hundreds

Of people over the decades

But, now I am tired

I am fighting a disease that has no cure

I am fighting a disease that no one understands

Unless you, yourself, have it as well

The constant pain is 24/7

It is wearing me down

It robbed me of who I was

It has robbed me of any meaningful future

I can’t do what others do anymore

I can’t go hiking

I can’t go camping

I can’t go skating

I can’t stay active

To do so unleashes an intolerable amount of pain

It’s a task just to get out of bed sometimes

It’s hard to make plans with family and friends

Because the pain can change day to day

Because the pain can change hour by hour

Trying to meet new friends is hard

As they don’t understand this monster we live with

Trying to date is harder

Who wants to attach themselves to such a broken person

The sting of hearing we are just not compatible

You can’t hike or camp or dance or bowl

And honestly, who can blame them

They want a companion to do those activities with

They want someone who

Won’t back out on a date at the last minute time and time again.

Won’t be exhausted just getting out of the car

Won’t lose their balance just walking into a restaurant

Won’t feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you when they touch you.

Will be able to enjoy physical activities

Will be able to make plans at the last minute

Will be able to enjoy the embrace of a loved one without fear of causing pain

They just want a normal relationship.

Well this is my new normal

And it is full of physical pain

And it is full of emotional pain

And it is full of isolation

And it is full of disappointment

And it is dark

And more and more

I am understanding exactly why

It is called the Suicide Disease

So what happens when the strong gets tired?

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